i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You made out with two different species that night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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