You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
