Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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