if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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