I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
