I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
