Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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