Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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