Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
