remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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