I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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