can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
