it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
