Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
