you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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