You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
