I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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