Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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