she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
operation harelip BJ is a go
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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