you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
