If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
