It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
