Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
