My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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