Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize