just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
