Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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