im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
