Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
