Its about making memories worth repressing
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize