How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
