Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
