He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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