No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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