I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
