Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
