Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
