my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
