marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nicole vs. Life
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
