I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
