I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
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