He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize