i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
