I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just gift wrapped bread.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
