I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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