My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
