Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
