dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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