Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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