i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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