loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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