oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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