Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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