Already got asked if we're dating
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
