then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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