I wish I could teleport
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
