His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
just found out that she named her cat after me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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