who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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