haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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