thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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