I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
