Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we're making bets on your personal life
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
soo... how was my night?
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