Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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